If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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