I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
kristin has been a bad kristin
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
