Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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