You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
