super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
