You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
