new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
