I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
