He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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