i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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