I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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