Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
