Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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