a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
