I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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