My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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