it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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