the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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