I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
