i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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