1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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