Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
