jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
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I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.