no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize