My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
