I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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