Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
