I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
