I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
