When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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