How'd it feel making her break her religion?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
