god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
