3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
