I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm at about main and main street
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
