She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I smell like Dick and happiness
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