Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
