But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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