UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
