gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
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her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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