This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize