some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
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Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
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I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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