Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
