Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
