You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
When are your genitals available?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
