If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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