You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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