O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just cropdusted the office
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
