He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
