For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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