please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
