Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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