we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
