we're blogging at a bar
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
