you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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