maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
