So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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