Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
