Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize