i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
