But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
