He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
